Kidnap (2017)

After watching Kidnap the other night, the first thing that popped in my mind was we better polish up the Razzies because we have a future “worse movie of the year” candidate. What I mean by that is I’ve seen some terrible movies in my life and Kidnap will now rank with the very best of those. Who ever wrote this script decided that it could take an academy award winner, make her repeat the same exact lines over and over, drive like maniac in a mini van, and call it a thriller. Seriously, Halle Barre screams “oh my god” so many times I lost count after a dozen. She’s driving a dodge mini van that can not go over 60 mph for some reason, but can handle a high stakes car chase with ease. This story, as realistic as possible, is so fake and stupid that you will sigh out loud and point out every wrong move out loud, potentially ruining other people’s movie experience. It was hard to picture Berry going through the same experience, considering she is on the other end of a kidnap in the movie The Call. Was there no one else in the industry to get cast instead of her? If she is gonna be type cast as the girl who saves kids in Kidnap movies, great, if not, let’s get someone else. Her acting here was so bad because it wasn’t believable. Instead of intense silent moments, with really thrilling music, we get to watch Berry narrate her thoughts and course of action. It gets so bad that every time you think she’ll catch a break with local law enforcement, they are never around. People knock the police all the time about being in the wrong place at the wrong time, yet it seems there are only two or three cops in the entire state of Louisiana, especially during a multiple car wreck/chase across major highways. This is 2017, all the action in this movie would have been caught at some point on social media, which makes Kidnap all that much worse. Do yourself a favour and just make sure you watch your kids, because there is really no reason for you or them to end up in a terrible movie about these kind of events.


star rating: 1/10

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