We are all free now! We are free from some awkward aggressive sex, chemistry between two lovers that just isn’t there, and from terrible writing. I don’t even want to talk about the story here, I want to talk about everything else. Like how for every two minutes of actual movie time, there’s like five minutes of sex. Sometimes there’s a line and sometimes there isn’t, it is rather confusing. Also no matter where the line is, Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) is probably the world’s biggest jerk in the movie. Power, money, and jealousy are what fuel his desires, and there are several moments when he thinks he’s doing the right thing when he’s not. I wondered throughout the entire movie how he goes back to leading a normal life (married with kids) after playing a pretend life filled of all the spoils most of us can only dream about. If I could have his life for the weekend, that would be one of the greatest adventures of all-times. Now speaking of adventures, this creepy stalker, kidnapper, revenge story line really wasn’t needed. Like this is supposed to be based on Twilight stuff, and no where in that story does it come down to shooting a guy to save a ransom drop. This sounds like a rich person’s worse nightmare, but I seem to recall the Cullens seem to be well off and didn’t have these kind of problems. I got to give credit to the Grey family bodyguards. They act like secret service and have unlimited access to information, which makes me wonder if they are comfortable working for Mr. Grey and his not overly attractive wife. I mean, if I was him, I totally would have chosen anyone else in the Seattle area to pursue, even Victoria was more attractive. But now we all free, free to let go any anger we have towards this book/film series, because the Greys will live happily ever after and there’s nothing more to tell us in a very rushed finale that really didn’t have a climatic ending. 3/10
Ten Stars or Less 