Trolls World Tour (2020)

It may be a harsh thing to say, especially given the severity of the issue, but not having every big-budget movie get released to the masses turned out to be a blessing. 

Trolls were very popular when I was a kid. Then when I became an adult, a blockbuster movie (and number one song) brought Trolls back into my life, even though I didn’t need them there. Of course, when something makes money, people in power want more money, so they come up with sequels to sell more toys and songs. 

I enjoyed the first Trolls movie way back in 2016. I wasn’t head over heels in love or anything, so I was quite content with a one-off film. Instead, we were given Trolls World Tour as a present in the middle of the worse year of most people’s lives. 

Thankfully this animated dumpster fire was only 1:30 long because I don’t know if I could have lasted a minute longer. The writers, animators, and director took a decent idea and utterly destroyed it. They thought by mucking up a story about the past and all these other colonies that people we interested, entertained, and engaged. Sadly, they forget everything I just suggested and produced a terrible movie with no catchy songs. 

Most of you have probably already spent money to watch World Tour, and I have to say shame on you. When you continue to fuel the imagination of those who lack creativity, it spawns more bad ideas. We waited a long time before sitting down to watch World Tour. We didn’t even spend a penny on the film because it was now available on Crave for free. 

The introduction of new characters like Queen Barb (Rachel Bloom) as the bad guy was pointless. Yes, she is psycho and wants to destroy all the music colonies except her own, but in the end, she was weak and didn’t even manage to finish her task. Branch (Justin Timberlake) is an afterthought in this journey. He’s rejected and disregarded at every turn, even though he’s right. Of course, to add more drama to the story, he spends the entire movie gaining the courage to tell Poppy (Anna Kendrick) that he loves her. 

Meanwhile, Poppy wants to be a great queen and reunite the colonies, except she’s so dumb and blinded by the joy of hugs and songs that she doesn’t have a clue what’s really going on. I get that this is supposed to be a kid’s movie and all, but adults are watching it too. No matter who you get to voice new trolls, we will tune out if the story is terrible. 

I’m sorry I got my advice out to you so late. If I can still save some of you, great. Don’t watch Trolls World Tour; you will just waste your time. 1/10

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